Sunday, October 16, 2016

oh halloween

i fucking hate halloween.
i dont find anything more evil-covered-up than halloween.
i freaking hate the fall festivals churchs do.
its not fun for me.
pure evil.

Saturday, October 15, 2016


when B was sick in the hospital, this friend of ours sent me a txt msg asking me for our address to send us a teddy bear for B. We got rid of 99% of our stuffed animals before moving to PR, so i was a little hesitant about giving her my address for her to send me a bear. i was like, she doesnt need to send anything. B is sick and that's what was going... nothing else. she wouldn't care whether she had a bear or a blanket, or nothing.

however, i gave her my address.

why? you may ask.

well... it turns out I've had my good share of 'you shouldnt have done that' or 'that was so nice of you, but you shouldn't have'.


do you know that when i'm giving you something i'm doing it b/c i care about you and i think it's important (FOR ME) you get something from me? I try to come up with useful presents and not stupid shit, so YOU telling ME 'you shouldnt have done that' really pisses me off.

I didn't say: nah, you shouldnt send anything to B. I said; you're so sweet!!! thanks so much!

why do people feel the need to say ' you shouldn't have done that' or 'you don't need to do that'? If it's in my heart to send you $ or to give a present to your kids, be thankful. say thanks.

my friend Megan always sends stuff for my children and I made a point in not saying 'you shouldn't do this'. she loves my kids, but most importantly she loves ME and that's what matters and her presents are something we really treasure b/c I know she was thinking about us and it came out from her heart. she's not trying to impress me. she's not trying to win anything. she's doing it b/c she loves me.

same with K (our friend). she did it b/c she wanted to do something nice for B. in the end, she'd be doing it for us too.

I had decided to knit a hat for one of my friends but b/c clothing is so personal, i asked her for her fav color. She said why i was asking, so i told her i was getting a present ready for her. She said: oh no! don't worry about it. you shouldnt do anything b/c your friendship is enough for me.


Ungrateful people. i'm not expecting her to tell me thanks all her life for my present, just be happy and say: thanks for thinking of me and for taking your time to do something for me.

Fuck her. I'm not gonna make anything b/c it does seem my friendship is not that important for her when she is not gonna accept a present for me.

Friday, October 14, 2016

not even close

one of the things i hate about moving so much is the feeling that you dont belong and friendships dont matter. i'll move in 3 years, so why get so close to someone if later on they'll move and you wont see them again?

few years ago someone really hurt me when she said i wasn't really a friend. she labeled me with some very hurting words and i went home thinking: wtf just happened? in front of several people she called me THAT? i would have never thought she was THAT kind of friend. in fact, i really trusted her and loved her as an awesome friend.

then, i opened my heart to this other person only to have my heart broken by her attitude. in general, not just me. she really hurt me with her words, her actions. i simply wish i had never met her.

being 3 years here, 3 years there, 3 more years somewhere else suck. i did build friendship with people i dont see anymore b/c they live far away, but i have a phone and i try to stay in touch. there's facebook, wassap, idk, a lot of media networks to be around.

i miss the time when i had friends to hang out after work. i miss the time i could see all my friends on the weekend and go have dinner, have coffee, go to the park, go to see a movie.

i miss being younger and doing all that. and now i can't and it sucks. i feel i don't belong to this group of women here or there or anywhere. i dont want to talk about movies or shows, or my kids or my marriage.

i miss the few people i consider real friends.

i feel lonely.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

the world we live in

This was posted on my HS group last night.
The little boy is 2 and this is just ridiculous.

We've become so OBSESSED with understanding everything, and filling our children's lives with so much information that we forget they're just kids. They'll learn stuff w/o us being all over them trying to figure out why is it so important for him/her to learn to play pretend.

The mothers in my HS groups piss me off. Specially those who ask stupid questions and those who post photos of their HS rooms and the other go like: 'OMG I wish I had that room', 'that's a lovely place', 'come and redo my room'.

This person posted 30+ photos on Monday and I felt the urge to go and bully her online. I mean, I would have never said anything to her in person, so I shut up and said nothing, but if I had been someone else, I would have totally said something. She lives in freaking NYC. Her Husband is a lawyer at a very well known firm and she's using this HS program. She bought all the cool, fashion, expensive stuff.


I'm not jealous for her things, or her room, or anything. I'm just pissed at how she's bragging about her shit while so many people all over the world who use this program struggle to find a place to HS their children at their own place. It's not I don't have a place (we do have a nice kitchen with a lovely table we use all the time), it's just her bragging and it's just seeing how little mess it'll be done there.

I'm not rich to buy the cool stuff, but my children get to get dirty and experience real messy homeschooling :)

But her photos pissed me off. Same as this woman who posted about the play pretend. Just get some cars and dinosaurs and you'll see pretend play.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Wake me up when the sickness ends

After we came back from the beach I knew something was wrong. Scratch that. I knew as soon as I saw B on the beach, sitting alone with L, that something wasn't right. But there are too many other things involved in the story that made me think that. I won't talk about it, though.
We came home, she got fever. Fever on Monday. 104.1 on Monday night. Cold bath. Medicine. 104.7 on Tuesday morning. ER. IV. Observation for 3 days.
Vomit. Diahrrea (both kids and us).
B hospitalized for 10 days. Isolation. IV. Shitty nurses. Unprofessional doctors. Diaper rash. Sores on her face. Nasty food.

We came home on Monday (13 days after B was hospitalized) and by Wednesday we're back in the ER b/c B has an allergic reaction.
Saturday. L has sores on her arms/legs/mouth.
Sunday. More sores. On her private area. On her toes/fingers. On her face.
Hand-mouth and foot disease. 

I blame the hospital for this b/c they didn't treat us (or any child in there) like highly contagious beings. I hated the cribs they used. I hated we had to share the room while B had such a horrible disease. Nurses would come and go like whatever and they'd touch B's head, B's crib. They would come and take her vitals with those nasty things...

I complain a lot about this b/c now L has this disgusting disease and we have to be so careful with everything she touches. I think some people in the hospitals, especially when there are babies and toddlers, should be way more careful.

Would an American hospital have been better? IDK. We got good care for B, but it lacked professionalism and hygene. I miss many things about eh States.


Thursday, September 10, 2015

Just 10 more weeks

Baby Galilea is almost here! I can't believe how fast this year went by (I found out SO early I was pregnant that it seems I've been pregnant all year!) and I can't wait for baby Galilea to be born.

Everything is going well and she's on the bigger size, but so far we're on track. We have everything we need for her to be with us, and not it's just time to wait... LOL

Hope you're all doing well and having a great September!

Monday, August 17, 2015

27 weeks

i really wanna be done with this pregnancy. 
i'm exhausted!
kids are not sleeping @ night and i'm having so much trouble staying sleep or sleeping for that matter.

i don't feel like doing anything for the baby, which sucks.
i should be so excited about having another baby.
i'm not.

i'm taking too many meds to keep baby healthy.
i'm doing ok w/ weight ...
but the diabetes is worse than before :( 

i don't have a ring on my ring finger not because it doesn't fit...
one day i got very upset and i threw it in the garbage.
never bought another one.
not intending to either.
that was about 2 1/2 years ago
(i've been married 7 years)

my laundry is calling me