Friday, October 14, 2016

not even close

one of the things i hate about moving so much is the feeling that you dont belong and friendships dont matter. i'll move in 3 years, so why get so close to someone if later on they'll move and you wont see them again?

few years ago someone really hurt me when she said i wasn't really a friend. she labeled me with some very hurting words and i went home thinking: wtf just happened? in front of several people she called me THAT? i would have never thought she was THAT kind of friend. in fact, i really trusted her and loved her as an awesome friend.

then, i opened my heart to this other person only to have my heart broken by her attitude. in general, not just me. she really hurt me with her words, her actions. i simply wish i had never met her.

being 3 years here, 3 years there, 3 more years somewhere else suck. i did build friendship with people i dont see anymore b/c they live far away, but i have a phone and i try to stay in touch. there's facebook, wassap, idk, a lot of media networks to be around.

i miss the time when i had friends to hang out after work. i miss the time i could see all my friends on the weekend and go have dinner, have coffee, go to the park, go to see a movie.

i miss being younger and doing all that. and now i can't and it sucks. i feel i don't belong to this group of women here or there or anywhere. i dont want to talk about movies or shows, or my kids or my marriage.

i miss the few people i consider real friends.

i feel lonely.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry you are feeling alone. Motherhood can be such a busy, yet lonely place sometimes. I know that anything I say can not take those feelings away from you , but I can offer prayers that your emptiness will soon be filled. Please feel free to email me anytime if you need to talk. I am here to listen. With an open mind and ear. We may be at different stages of motherhood, but we are both mothers and can lend one another support. Will be thinking of you.