Friday, October 14, 2016
not even close
one of the things i hate about moving so much is the feeling that you dont belong and friendships dont matter. i'll move in 3 years, so why get so close to someone if later on they'll move and you wont see them again?
few years ago someone really hurt me when she said i wasn't really a friend. she labeled me with some very hurting words and i went home thinking: wtf just happened? in front of several people she called me THAT? i would have never thought she was THAT kind of friend. in fact, i really trusted her and loved her as an awesome friend.
then, i opened my heart to this other person only to have my heart broken by her attitude. in general, not just me. she really hurt me with her words, her actions. i simply wish i had never met her.
being 3 years here, 3 years there, 3 more years somewhere else suck. i did build friendship with people i dont see anymore b/c they live far away, but i have a phone and i try to stay in touch. there's facebook, wassap, idk, a lot of media networks to be around.
i miss the time when i had friends to hang out after work. i miss the time i could see all my friends on the weekend and go have dinner, have coffee, go to the park, go to see a movie.
i miss being younger and doing all that. and now i can't and it sucks. i feel i don't belong to this group of women here or there or anywhere. i dont want to talk about movies or shows, or my kids or my marriage.
i miss the few people i consider real friends.
i feel lonely.